Alas, I wish this was some faulty translation of Albert Camus’ famous opening line, but my father did indeed die today. Right now the loss feels overwhelming, but somehow I felt the need to offer tribute to him in my writing.
In fact, I’ve written about Dad quite a few times before on this venue. There were his favorite stories (and his other favorite stories). There was the time the two of us went fishing together. One can’t forget how he told of the time my Uncle complained that Dad “had more shrimp than me” , or when I got to join him and three of his dozen siblings at the Rowley Diner (which isn’t actually named the Rowley Diner).
And then there are the jokes. He was always joking; the kind of corny jokes that were punnier than heck (and always clean). Whether it be saving us the donut hole or the old Dalmatian on the fire truck joke, we could always count on Dad to keep us in good humor.
One of my favorite posts about Dad was called “Leader of the Band” after the Dan Fogelberg song. The refrain of the song takes me on a metaphorical journey:
The leader of the band is tired
And his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument
And his song is in my soul
My life has been a poor attempt
To imitate the man
I’m just the living legacy
To the leader of the band
I know in many ways I’ve failed to live up to his example, but I hope I at least succeeded in living a life of honesty and integrity, the way Dad always lived his life. As I read through my tears the comments from friends and family about his passing, I see that he had a lasting affect on so many people’s lives. He was well loved by everyone who met him. He will be missed.
My thoughts now turn to my Mom, who has been lovingly caring for my father through his physical trials these last few years. His passing is two weeks short of his 92nd birthday, which coincides with my parents’ 66th wedding anniversary. [Dad always joked that he got married on his birthday so he would never forget his anniversary.] My mother is surrounded by our large family and network of friends during this difficult time. At 87 herself, she is still self-sufficient and energetic, but feels the loss of the love of her life more deeply than any of us can imagine. As Lincoln might have said, it is for us the living to ensure that we honor Dad’s legacy by honoring and supporting our mother’s continuing life.
I’ve written this both as a tribute to my father and as a sort of therapy; I’m still not sure if I should post it. It seems both too personal and not personal enough. If you’re reading it, obviously the decision was made in the positive.
David J. Kent is a science traveler and the author of Lincoln: The Man Who Saved America, in Barnes and Noble stores now. His previous books include Tesla: The Wizard of Electricity (2013) and Edison: The Inventor of the Modern World (2016) and two e-books: Nikola Tesla: Renewable Energy Ahead of Its Time and Abraham Lincoln and Nikola Tesla: Connected by Fate.
Check out my Goodreads author page. While you’re at it, “Like” my Facebook author page for more updates!
estebang said:
When my father died, in the midst of the business, I really did appreciate others taking time to tell me stories that I had not heard before. I’m glad now that I took the time to listen to at least several of them.
Condolences.
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davidjkentwriter said:
Thanks, estebang. Dad had some great stories and I have great stories of him. I’ll cherish his memory always.
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katechampagne said:
Oh, David, I am so sorry for your loss. The loss of a parent has more grief than nearly any other grief. So, your father was born in 1927? Mine was, but he passed long ago, having only lived half a life time. I wish you well in your journey of loss and grief, and that you can find blessings in the loss as you travel along your path. Finding blessings in the loss … an ardous, tearful task, but it comes, in time.
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davidjkentwriter said:
Thanks, Kathryn. We’ve been lucky to have him and my mother for so long. Still, when the time finally came it was harder than my expectations.
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Josette King said:
David -Tthank you for sharing these lovely memories of your Dad. What a wonderful tribute they are. .I know there are no words to alleviate your grief, but please accept my deepest condolences. .
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davidjkentwriter said:
Thanks, Josette. Dad was a great inspiration for me and I loved his stories. I’m sure I’ll have more about him in this space in the future.
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Relax... said:
I’m so sorry for (especially) your and your mother’s loss. (It happens, we expect it; yet it should not happen, and no, we expected no such thing — not really..not ever.) My thoughts will be with you and yours this week.
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davidjkentwriter said:
Thanks. He’s been struggling physically for some time but when the end came, it came fast. Luckily, we have a big family, most (other than me) living locally, so a large support network for my mother.
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Paula Light said:
So sorry for your loss. ❤️
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davidjkentwriter said:
Thank you.
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Angela said:
What a beautiful post and tribute to your Father. I am so very sorry for your loss and pray for comfort for you, your Mother, and all of your family.
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davidjkentwriter said:
Thanks, Angela.
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Lightness Traveling said:
My sincere condolences, David. And I wish the best to you and to your family, and especially to your mom. There’s a particularly isolating feeling that comes from such loss, a connection to some sense of history. The stories, however, remain to validate both the person, and that part which lives in your own life.
I like the photo. And my apologies for missing this… transit, jet-lag, no notification from WP, and an injury all conspired to throw me off.
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davidjkentwriter said:
Thanks. I’m with my family now and helping my Mom deal with all the logistical paperwork. We had a nice turnout for the funeral, with a lot of love shown for my father and support for my mother. Sounds like you’ve been busy. Hope your injury isn’t serious.
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