Tags
When in Rome do as the Romans do. By which I mean speak Italian and/or Latin, drink a lot of wine, and constantly carry an ice cream cone – gelato – when walking. At least that seems to be what they are always doing in Rome.
So assuming you’re not Roman and are visiting Rome as a tourist, and specifically if you are a tourist visiting the Vatican, then you must visit St. Peter’s Basilica. And as the invariably long line snakes to the entrance – soon after going through the security checkpoint – make sure to look to the right just before making that hard turn to the front of the church. And you’re likely to see the Swiss Guard.
You would be hard pressed to tell from the multi-colored – even garish – ceremonial uniforms of today’s Swiss guards to know that historically the guards were some of the fiercest fighters of the middle ages. The guards were called in by Pope Julius II to help fight wars with those pesky Venetians and the French, that is, when Julius wasn’t bossing around both Michelangelo and Raphael as they created their respective masterpieces – the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and the School of Athens.
Today of course the Swiss Guards are purely ceremonial. After all, an easy lifestyle of standing around with a pike and retiring with a papal pension is almost worth wearing those colors and feathered helmets. But admittedly there are days even a Guard would rather not be caught dead looking like that. The day I was there I overheard this short conversation:
Hey, Luigi, do these yellow stripes make me look fat?
No Giuseppe, you look fine. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure, Luigi? I’ve been putting on a few kilos lately. All that gelato I think.
I said you look fine. We go through this every day. You ask me if the stripes make you look fat, I say no, you yammer about eating too much gelato. This job is boring enough as it is, the least you could do is talk about something interesting for a change. Hey, is that your girlfriend over there?
Giuseppe glances to the side (see photo). Oh mio, it is…it is my beloved Bianca. Cazzo, I told her I was the Pope’s right hand man. I cannot let her see me dressed in this silly outfit. Luigi, rapido, run me through with your pike. Oh Signore, portami in cielo ora.
Okay, maybe I heard wrong. But seriously, wouldn’t that be your reaction?
David J. Kent is a science traveler and the author of Lincoln: The Man Who Saved America, in Barnes and Noble stores now. His previous books include Tesla: The Wizard of Electricity (2013) and Edison: The Inventor of the Modern World (2016) and two e-books: Nikola Tesla: Renewable Energy Ahead of Its Time and Abraham Lincoln and Nikola Tesla: Connected by Fate.
Check out my Goodreads author page. While you’re at it, “Like” my Facebook author page for more updates!
Journey Forgotten said:
Oh, interesting uniforms!
LikeLiked by 1 person
davidjkentwriter said:
Agreed. They seem so out of place (okay, bizarre) in such a serene location. Just looked at your blog, which should be very useful in future travels (Korea is on my short list next time I head to Beijing).
LikeLike
Journey Forgotten said:
Indeed they looked kinda out of place here… but its eye catching.. thanks for dropping by my blog, hopefully it could bring some useful tips to your future adventure when you visit korea.. 🙂
LikeLike
davidjkentwriter said:
I’m sure it will. Following your blog now. Thanks.
LikeLike
Journey Forgotten said:
You’re welcome and thank you for the follow!
LikeLike
pambrittain said:
This is so funny. I’d love to see more pictures.
LikeLike
davidjkentwriter said:
I’ll definitely be sharing more photos as I explore this creative side more. Tons of photos from tons of travel.
LikeLike
pviglia said:
Do not be so sure about an easy life style. For what I heard they trained very hard with assault weapons, hand guns, martial arts and other stuff to protect the pope. the ones you see standing like some crazy multicolored stop sign are just for display and tradition. The ones you dont see, those are the ones carrrying out the unseen duties of protecting the pope.
LikeLike
davidjkentwriter said:
Indeed, I have a longer version of this piece in which I go into more background about the history of the Swiss Guard. I decided to post this shorter version just for this blog. Their history is actually fascinating.
LikeLike
lightnesstraveling said:
Definitely a “fashion disaster!” However, as pvidlia suggested, I’m not sure I’d want to be the one to tell them.
BTW, I’d “Like” your articles here, but WordPress won’t seem to allow it. I think there’s something on my end that sees it as a “click-jacking” attempt, and throws a wrench into the works.
LikeLike
davidjkentwriter said:
I definitely wouldn’t be suggesting they aren’t capable (after all, I saw the Glock). I think they would appreciate the humor. In my longer version I go into more detail about their military history, especially back when the Pope’s spent a lot of time starting wars instead of lamenting them.
Not sure why you can’t “Like” the posts given that I see others doing so. I’m still figuring out how to use the site myself. I appreciate your visits and comments.
LikeLike
angloswiss said:
I think they were quite well paid for their services rendered in the good old mercenary days. Today they are very decorative and it is always deemed an honour by a Swiss family if one of their offspring are chosen. We had a bloke living nearbye in the local castle that served. People still talk about it today, although I believe he died some time ago.. He belonged to one of the wealthy familieis bearing the right name. Had to chuckle at the conversation.
LikeLike
davidjkentwriter said:
Thanks for your insights. I found it fascinating to discover the history of the Swiss Guards after seeing them in their more ceremonial role at the Vatican. I couldn’t resist creating my “overheard” conversation. Really enjoyed my visit.
LikeLike
Pingback: Daily Prompt: Uncanned Laughter – Smitty Boats | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice
Pingback: sort of like spoonerisms or what? | eastelmhurst.a.go.go
grieflessons said:
I think they look very nice! Just where is your fashion sense, my dear? Would you have them wear Ninja gear? Seriously, I think it is just part of the whole show. Enjoyed your imaginative pondering. Judy
LikeLike
davidjkentwriter said:
Yup, uniforms just for show. I had fun with the dialogue, but also did some research on the history of the Swiss Guard. They actually have a reputation for being fierce fighters (though I hope they don’t need to use it at the Vatican).
LikeLike
Pingback: Specific – Daily Prompt – Ladyleemanila