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Tag Archives: memoir

Let Them Eat Cake

23 Wednesday Oct 2019

Posted by davidjkentwriter in Memoir

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

memoir, school

let them eat cakeI’ve alluded to my relatively traumatic educational path in previous posts, a path that has residual effects to this day. There was my first day of school spent standing in the hallway, the time I made my French teacher cry, and the shock of learning that the class participation part of the grade required actually speaking up in class. But one of the most embarrassing was the infamous “let them eat cake” incident.

Whereas most high school teachers were closer to the age of my fellow students than retirement, Mrs. Lovely (and yes, that was her real name) was an older woman who had been teaching for forty years. She lived for the joy of stimulating the minds of impressionable adolescents.

In my sophomore year I had Mrs. Lovely for a course called “Contemporary Best Sellers.” Essentially the class was about reading. We were required to read something on the order of 15 to 20 books, which we could choose from a list she provided. Most were in fact contemporary, including a few by John Updike, a town resident at the time (I played soccer with his son), best known for his double-Pulitzer winning “Rabbit” series of books. Besides reading Updike and J.D. Salinger (who also had a salacious connection to the town), we could pick from many dozens of books, all of which were available in the library.

Being more than a little introverted (Translation: “had no social life”), I was quite the bookworm. I blew through the 15 required books and started racking up extra credit. Mrs. Lovely, ecstatic to find someone who enjoyed reading, started feeding me more and more books, enticing me like a drug dealer feeding an addict. Quickly running out of available contemporary volumes, she began suggesting obscure (and slightly more risqué) writers such as Mary Renault. I zipped through the depths of at least three of her historical fiction/Greek mythology based novels, then moved on to plenty of other authors I hadn’t heard of before Mrs. Lovely introduced them to me.

By semester’s end I had read 56 books.

Ah, but we couldn’t just read the books. For each one we had to write a short summary, replete with specific details that proved we had actually read and understood the book. These weren’t onerous – it had to fit on a standard 3″ x 5″ index card – but likely is why I still keep track of all the books I read and write reviews for many of them.

Here is where the difficulty came in. In addition to reading and writing the summaries, we would spend much of class time discussing the books being read. Students would be randomly (or perhaps arbitrarily) selected and had to be prepared to offer insight. Often Mrs. Lovely would pose a question to stimulate discussion.

“Can anyone tell us what Marie Antoinette said when the peasants rioted, complaining they didn’t have enough bread to eat?”

Yes, I know this, fist-pumping in my head. My hand shot up.

“Yes, Mr. Kent, what did she say?” The smile broadened on her face. Her star student was about to speak.

“Let them eat bread!” I exclaimed cheerfully, then immediately realized I had screwed it up.

“Well, close. She actually said ‘Let them eat cake!’ Thank you Mr. Kent.” The smile disappeared as she moved on to the next question. Snickers from around the room screamed decibels in my brain.

This watershed incident kept me silent the rest of high school, college, and into graduate school [See “B+ for A Work“] It was at this moment that I willed myself into invisibility. As the class returned its attention to Mrs. Lovely, I mentally pummeled myself from my seat along the windowed wall of the class, wondering if I would survive the fall (or if I wanted to survive the fall) should I decide to escape my ignominy. How could I have belted out the wrong phrase? Am I really that stupid? No, I knew the correct answer. I had “let them eat cake” on the tip of my tongue. Why did “bread” come out instead of “cake”? What is wrong with me? [This self-interrogation went on for the rest of the class, and probably for the rest of the day and week; in any case, long after the rest of the students had forgotten my existence.]

Only many years later did I come to understand how this had happened, and the reason seemed to explain many of the other issues I had had along my educational path. More on that in a later post.

P.S. Technically, there is no record of Marie Antoinette actually saying “Let them eat cake!” In fact, the original suggestion (likely untrue to begin with) was instead of “cake” she had said “brioche,” which is a luxury bread enriched with butter and eggs. In either case, the idea was that she was horribly out of touch with the plight of the masses, which might explain how she ended up being executed by guillotine along with her husband, the late Louis XVI. Which, ironically, led to the widespread use of a Shakespearean phrase, “Off with their heads!”

David J. Kent is a science traveler and the author of Lincoln: The Man Who Saved America, in Barnes and Noble stores now. His previous books include Tesla: The Wizard of Electricity (2013) and Edison: The Inventor of the Modern World (2016) and two e-books: Nikola Tesla: Renewable Energy Ahead of Its Time and Abraham Lincoln and Nikola Tesla: Connected by Fate.

Check out my Goodreads author page. While you’re at it, “Like” my Facebook author page for more updates!

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My Uncle and EEE

03 Thursday Oct 2019

Posted by davidjkentwriter in Memoir

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

memoir

funeral flowersThree months ago I wrote that my uncle offered his support following the death of my father. Yesterday we buried that uncle, a victim of eastern equine encephalitis, EEE. This has been a particularly bad year for this exceedingly rare disease, but for our family an excruciatingly personal one.

Normally EEE affects only 5 to 10 people a year nationwide. About a third of those cases are fatal, with most of the survivors requiring months of recovery and experiencing some degree of brain damage. This year there have been 11 fatalities so far. One of them was my uncle. Other relatives that live in that area say they are afraid of going outside. The town has instituted a curfew of sorts, closing neighborhood ballparks at dusk and warning people not to venture out during times when mosquitos are likely to be active. This weekend is the annual illumination, the sending of floating lights down the river. The smell of DEET will likely join the aroma of scented candles this year.

My uncle was the youngest of nine children. He was always willing to take charge of events, and always supported the family with gusto and faith. My mother and two sisters are all that remain from that large coterie along with my uncle’s wife and another late uncle’s ex-wife, both as true aunts as the blood sisters. They carry on a family legacy that has been inspiring to all in my generation and the next who have learned from their fine examples.

Still, it’s been a rough year or two. Unexpected passings, lost employments, health issues and more pile on the background noise of our current political strife. There seems constant reminders that life is to be lived while we have the opportunity.

My heart goes out to my dear aunt and three cousins whose grief is magnified by the suddenness of this calamity. I weep for my other aunts, my mother, my extended family. I take solace in knowing they all continue with the fond memories of my departed uncle.

David J. Kent is a science traveler and the author of Lincoln: The Man Who Saved America, in Barnes and Noble stores now. His previous books include Tesla: The Wizard of Electricity (2013) and Edison: The Inventor of the Modern World (2016) and two e-books: Nikola Tesla: Renewable Energy Ahead of Its Time and Abraham Lincoln and Nikola Tesla: Connected by Fate.

Check out my Goodreads author page. While you’re at it, “Like” my Facebook author page for more updates!

 

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An Open Letter to James Daunt, Barnes and Noble’s New CEO

15 Thursday Aug 2019

Posted by davidjkentwriter in Memoir

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Barnes and Noble, memoir

Barnes and NobleDear Mr. James Daunt,

Congratulations. I understand you have taken over as CEO of Barnes and Noble booksellers following its recent move to go private. I know you’re busy rethinking the store and plan significant changes to make it more profitable. I wish you all the best.

As a writer and a frequent visitor to my local store, I do want to offer one thought about a practice in need of reconsideration – the practice of prompting customers to join Barnes and Noble’s membership program.

I do get it. These frequent buyer programs save money for frequent buyers as well as being good for the company. They encourage people to buy more, and if they don’t, you still get the membership fee the same way gyms make money on memberships to people who never quite find the time to visit the gym. I understand there are corporate directives that require sales staff (or associates or whatever euphemism B&N uses) to prompt customers to become members, just as the in-store Starbuck’s cafes are instructed to always ask the customer if they want to upsize from Grande to Venti “for only 50 cents more!”.

Alas, the actual logistics are often problematic. The salespeople/associates/booksellers at my local store seem not to remember they have made this same query to me on every one of my frequent visits over the last 6 months. I understand that B&N has a lot of customers and perhaps I’m not that memorable, but by now someone in the store should have some vague feeling they’ve seen me before. Especially since I’ve signed copies of my books there. This suggests you’ve employed automatons rather than book or coffee sellers. But even this lack of recognition isn’t the main problem.

Today I was accosted – and while I do mean that figuratively and not literally, accosted seems to be right level of insistence – by a sales associate I’ve spoken with at least half a dozen times in the last several months. I’m familiar with her enough to know she’ll enthusiastically offer the “become a member” spiel. Today she was particularly annoying, to the detriment of Barnes and Noble.

As I was perusing a book in the history section she approached and asked: “Is there anything I can help you find today?” Always delighted to have someone offer help, and often being so queried by staff at B&N, I pleasantly responded “No, not today, I’m just browsing. Thank you.” So far so good. I expected the usual and appropriate response, something like “Okay, let me know if you need anything,” followed by the associate leaving to help other customers.

But without missing a beat this associate asked me if I was a member. “No, I’m not interested. Thank you,” I replied, then lowered my head to continue scanning the title page of a book I had open before her arrival. It looked interesting and I was considering the purchase.

But wait, she was still talking.

“No, thank you,” I said, looking up briefly to interject into her monologue, then returned to continue reviewing the book I had in my hand.

And yet she continued talking. Not conversational talking, but a rehearsed speech that I had heard dozens of times before. She went on for another 10 or 15 seconds after I had made clear I wasn’t interested. Fed up that she was still trying to sell me something I’ve told her I didn’t want, and not feeling the necessity of telling her for a third time, I kept looking at the book I had been engrossed in before she accosted me. Eventually, after droning on for way longer than any sentient being should have droned, she left and I continued my browsing, although now highly annoyed and unlikely to be buying anything today from this particular establishment.

It struck me that her initial offer to help me find something was entirely contrived – after all, I was flipping through a book in hand when she approached. Clearly she was simply looking for an excuse to engage so she could go into her sales spiel. I assume that associates get some sort of commission or bonus from membership sales they initiate, but in this case she did more to lose the book sale I was already considering than gain any benefit for her or the store. To me, this is the worst kind of associate, someone who seemingly cares little or nothing for the customers and everything for her own sales commissions or bonuses or however associates are rewarded for selling memberships or Venti Frappuccinos.

While I understand the requirement for associates to promote memberships and would expect it by the café and bookstore cashiers upon checkout (when “you would save an extra 10% on this purchase” means something), it is completely inappropriate and counterproductive for associates to go into hard sales spiels within the stacks and tables. Especially when associates fabricate the pretense of offering help – clearly unneeded at the time – in order to corner potential customers for the pitch.

So, Mr. Daunt, my one suggestion in your in-box full of ideas of how to make B&N better is to dump the automatons and hire booksellers who love both books and book buyers. The sole advantage independent booksellers have is that the sales associates get to know the customers and the local authors. When asked whether they need help finding something, the customer knows the query is sincere, not a pretense to barrage them with sales pitches. If Barnes and Noble can combine honest customer service with the greater selection larger stores offer, I have to believe it would increase B&N’s competitive advantage in the marketplace.

Oh, and also have more book signings and lectures by local authors.

Thanks for reading this (at least in my imagination). While I understand B&N has a daunting task ahead (no pun intended), I’m pulling for you. As I said, I’m a frequent visitor to my local B&N (the oatmeal raison cookies and Grande [not Venti] Frappuccinos are delicious, thank you) and would love to continue to do so.

Best regards,

P.S. Apropos of nothing, during my several years living in Brussels I was a fan of Waterstones.

David J. Kent is a science traveler and the author of Lincoln: The Man Who Saved America, in Barnes and Noble stores now. His previous books include Tesla: The Wizard of Electricity (2013) and Edison: The Inventor of the Modern World (2016) and two e-books: Nikola Tesla: Renewable Energy Ahead of Its Time and Abraham Lincoln and Nikola Tesla: Connected by Fate.

Check out my Goodreads author page. While you’re at it, “Like” my Facebook author page for more updates!

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Dual Entities

30 Tuesday Jul 2019

Posted by davidjkentwriter in Memoir

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

memoir

EmceeThe school was breaking precedent. Usually a professor was emcee (aka, was Master of Ceremonies) at the annual Biology Department banquet. This year they chose me to run the show. The idea wasn’t that outlandish on the surface; I had been the Biology Society President and was generally considered a respectable, capable leader. True, I didn’t exactly have a lot of public speaking experience [translation: none], but maybe they just felt sorry for me [long story for another time]. Or maybe all the professors refused to do it and desperation set in. Either way, I was emcee.

I have to admit I didn’t really prepare ahead of time, not having a clue what an emcee did at such a banquet, and not receiving any guidance. “Just introduce the speakers and the awards” was the only advice I received. The department had printed a colorful program that I was to follow, on which I immediately found a typographical error (perhaps I was destined to be a writer, or at least an editor). Not having prepared any opening remarks, which I discovered was a requirement when I arrived that night and noticed the program stated the emcee would offer “opening remarks,” I did the only thing I could do – I winged it.

Holding up the night’s program to the gathered guests – professors, students, a dean or two – I duly pointed out there was a small typo. While updating the names on the previous year’s program, the fact that the previous year had two emcees went unnoticed. Hence, I noted to the crowd, my name was listed under the heading “Masters of Ceremonies,” plural.

“Alas,” I exclaimed, “my astrological sign is indeed Gemini – the Twins – but I’ve never actually felt like a dual entity before.”

That got a loud laugh from the room [Trust me, it was funnier in person, especially in that more astrologically-aware time period]. The rest of the night was a piece of cake (except for that awkward moment when introducing the Biology Major Award, only to find out seconds later I was the recipient).

In thinking about this many years later I realized my life could be characterized in duality as well. Growing up on the shore led me early to a life as a marine biologist. Well, a few years as a working marine biologist before shifting to related scientific fields with more financial potential. For three decades I was a paid scientist working for a series of consulting firms, and lastly, as a scientist in a law firm. The work was both fulfilling, and while layoffs and impending layoffs were a constant fact my entire career, it paid the bills until I left to focus on my writing. So scientist is one entity.

The other entity is historian, in particular the study of Abraham Lincoln, his life and times. This didn’t pay. I did it on the side, after work, on the weekends, and whenever I could afford to scavenge the used book store circuit. My fascination with Lincoln kept me interested in history and how it relates to today. Once I quit “the day job” I was able to focus even more on Lincoln, including my active involvement with several Lincoln organizations. I also wrote a book on Lincoln that has been very successful.

This “dual entity” theme has given my life variety and fulfillment. More recently it has expanded to include what could be considered a third entity – traveler. Not surprisingly, much of my traveling builds on the original base duality.

Maybe being a Gemini was fate after all.

The “Biology President as Emcee” idea was carried over the following year, but rumor has it that my successor’s performance caused the department to revert to its previous reliance on professor-only emcees. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

David J. Kent is a science traveler and the author of Lincoln: The Man Who Saved America, in Barnes and Noble stores now. His previous books include Tesla: The Wizard of Electricity (2013) and Edison: The Inventor of the Modern World (2016) and two e-books: Nikola Tesla: Renewable Energy Ahead of Its Time and Abraham Lincoln and Nikola Tesla: Connected by Fate.

Check out my Goodreads author page. While you’re at it, “Like” my Facebook author page for more updates!

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Regrouping After Dad

16 Tuesday Jul 2019

Posted by davidjkentwriter in Memoir

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Dad, memoir

Dad in DC 2014Three weeks ago today I wrote “Father Died Today.” I haven’t posted on this site since then as it didn’t seem right without first writing a follow up, sort of a closure, post. But then how does one reach closure? I’m still open.

I haven’t attended many funerals. As my parents’ large contingent of siblings slowly passed away (and yet probably 8 or more remain) I was too far away to make it there for the services. Sometimes I was in other countries, although I did fly back from Brussels to attend my grandmother’s funeral. At 102, she had been the sole matriarch for many decades and I had to be there. Needless to say, I made the trip for my father.

Unlike my mother, my father wasn’t a particularly religious man so it seemed a bit incongruent to have a minister reading psalms during the service. And yet, it helped. After my older brother eulogized our father with words showing the depth of our family’s ardor, I was asked to speak a few words of my own. I told the story of us fishing together (mentioned in my previous post), and another I haven’t written about on these pages yet. We all considered him a great man. The attendees agreed.

After writing my previous post I hadn’t followed my usual routine of posting the piece to my social media platforms. Instead I simply posted a photo of my Dad from a few years ago onto my personal Facebook page. I said nothing other than to put his birth and death dates in the caption. This was to be my personal tribute. I was surprised, however, to receive over a hundred comments from friends and family. Most had never met my father but sensed his importance to me. Those who had met him said nice things. Those who knew him best expressed their love and affection. This pattern continued at the funeral service as friends and family repeatedly said he was a special man. It was nice to know that he was well loved by all.

My older brother lived a bit closer than me and was able to be there for Dad’s final labored hours. His presence helped my mother through the initial flood of excruciating grief, and he was there for her to lean on through the necessary funeral arrangements. After a long drive, I arrived the day after he passed away and spent the next 10 days with my family. After the funeral my brother had to return home; he had taken a sudden week off as President/CEO of a non-profit organization, and duty called. I stayed on to help my mother with the long list of other paperwork to be handled, and simply offer the further support of my presence. The following week was Independence Day and the traditional gathering at my grandmother’s former house (now my Aunt’s) for the parade and luncheon. It was helpful to have Mom there with dozens of friends and family.

At one point that day an uncle, Mom’s youngest brother, told me to remind my mother she could call him anytime. As he moved to walk away he suddenly stopped, turned, and said: “You can call me anytime too, you know.”

It was then I realized I hadn’t allowed my own emotions to surface during all this time. Sure, I broke down into an embarrassing blubber when I first heard the news, alone in my house hundreds of miles away, but my focus during those 10 days was on Mom. Only at that moment, when my uncle offered his emotional support for me, did it hit me that not only had my mother lost her husband of 66 years, I had lost my father of a lifetime. I managed to avoid of repeat of my earlier blubbering, but my eyes did well up and my breathing labored. [As they did just now typing this]

The next day I made the long drive back home. Since then I’ve periodically felt the loss slap me in the face. Reading a novel in which the main character visits his father with Alzheimer’s in a nursing home slapped me. Random thoughts slap me. Writing this piece has slapped me several times. Ru, who lost her own father to cancer at a much younger age, has helped me keep perspective.

To be honest, I feel a little silly expressing this, especially when many around me had lost their fathers or mothers or both long before I was faced with the situation. In a way, their experience with loss has helped me learn that while the memories and pain never quite go away, all of us gets through it and lives the lives our lost loved ones would have wanted us to continue living. Meanwhile, my mother again is my primary focus. My older brother and I, who both always called routinely anyway, have taken to calling more frequently. While I was still in my home town I helped my mother sign up for a day-long bus tour with the local Council of Aging. She will continue living. Several of her siblings are still around and all live locally. Add in both old and new friends and there is plenty of support to help get her through these initial stages without my father.

So is this closure? Probably not. But I need to refocus, regroup, renew, just as I’ve been encouraging my mother to do. It’s been difficult getting back into writing mode after all the recent travel and Dad’s passing, but I must. Today I took the first step in getting a routine going again. Tonight I’m writing this divulgence. Tomorrow I’ll set a timetable. I miss him, but I also know he would want me to continue.

Pater mortuus est, vivat filius.

David J. Kent is a science traveler and the author of Lincoln: The Man Who Saved America, in Barnes and Noble stores now. His previous books include Tesla: The Wizard of Electricity (2013) and Edison: The Inventor of the Modern World (2016) and two e-books: Nikola Tesla: Renewable Energy Ahead of Its Time and Abraham Lincoln and Nikola Tesla: Connected by Fate.

Check out my Goodreads author page. While you’re at it, “Like” my Facebook author page for more updates!

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Father Died Today

25 Tuesday Jun 2019

Posted by davidjkentwriter in Memoir

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

Dad, memoir

Dad in DC 2014Alas, I wish this was some faulty translation of Albert Camus’ famous opening line, but my father did indeed die today. Right now the loss feels overwhelming, but somehow I felt the need to offer tribute to him in my writing.

In fact, I’ve written about Dad quite a few times before on this venue. There were his favorite stories (and his other favorite stories). There was the time the two of us went fishing together. One can’t forget how he told of the time my Uncle complained that Dad “had more shrimp than me” , or when I got to join him and three of his dozen siblings at the Rowley Diner (which isn’t actually named the Rowley Diner).

And then there are the jokes. He was always joking; the kind of corny jokes that were punnier than heck (and always clean). Whether it be saving us the donut hole or the old Dalmatian on the fire truck joke, we could always count on Dad to keep us in good humor.

One of my favorite posts about Dad was called “Leader of the Band” after the Dan Fogelberg song. The refrain of the song takes me on a metaphorical journey:

The leader of the band is tired
And his eyes are growing old

But his blood runs through my instrument
And his song is in my soul

My life has been a poor attempt
To imitate the man

I’m just the living legacy
To the leader of the band

I know in many ways I’ve failed to live up to his example, but I hope I at least succeeded in living a life of honesty and integrity, the way Dad always lived his life. As I read through my tears the comments from friends and family about his passing, I see that he had a lasting affect on so many people’s lives. He was well loved by everyone who met him. He will be missed.

My thoughts now turn to my Mom, who has been lovingly caring for my father through his physical trials these last few years. His passing is two weeks short of his 92nd birthday, which coincides with my parents’ 66th wedding anniversary. [Dad always joked that he got married on his birthday so he would never forget his anniversary.] My mother is surrounded by our large family and network of friends during this difficult time. At 87 herself, she is still self-sufficient and energetic, but feels the loss of the love of her life more deeply than any of us can imagine. As Lincoln might have said, it is for us the living to ensure that we honor Dad’s legacy by honoring and supporting our mother’s continuing life.

I’ve written this both as a tribute to my father and as a sort of therapy; I’m still not sure if I should post it. It seems both too personal and not personal enough. If you’re reading it, obviously the decision was made in the positive.

David J. Kent is a science traveler and the author of Lincoln: The Man Who Saved America, in Barnes and Noble stores now. His previous books include Tesla: The Wizard of Electricity (2013) and Edison: The Inventor of the Modern World (2016) and two e-books: Nikola Tesla: Renewable Energy Ahead of Its Time and Abraham Lincoln and Nikola Tesla: Connected by Fate.

Check out my Goodreads author page. While you’re at it, “Like” my Facebook author page for more updates!

 

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