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Some days the struggle to write can be insurmountable. Okay, make that most days. At least that is how it felt yesterday, probably the most frustrating day of (non) writing I can remember.
It wasn’t writer’s block. It was time block. First it was the medical bills that had to be paid, and then the ones that were sent to me without ever going to the insurance company in the first place. Then there was the hassle of the committee I’ve chaired for five years and I desperately want to end. Then the obligations of my new VP job for another organization. Then the blog post that needed to go up. Then the Goodreads scammer who gave my new book a 1 rating despite the fact that the book has not even been published yet (so, like, obviously, he didn’t read it yet). Then the fact that there apparently is no mechanism for reporting said scammers. Then the fact I had the “spills” all day long (I’m still cleaning up some of the messes I made). Then there was the planning for the upcoming trip. Then there was the nagging pain in my foot. Then, there was…well, you get the idea.
And then it was 7 p.m. and my grand total of planned writing for the day was zero (0) words. Nil. Not a one. Worse, my mind was struggling with a million thoughts rushing off in a million different directions.
The struggle led to doubts. Doubts that I was a writer (despite two traditionally published books). Doubts that my writing was good enough (despite many good reviews). Doubts that my disorganized mind could focus enough to write the WIP (aka, Work In Progress).
“Stop”
I literally said that to myself. Stop. Take a breath. Take another breath.
Okay, now what?
This was the hardest part of the struggle. I didn’t know what to do next. Finally I decided to break the chain. I pulled a bunch of old CDs off the shelf, mostly old new age, the kind of instrumentals you can play in the background. You’ll be surprised how effective Ottmar Liebert can be to smooth out the hyperstimulation of thought.
I then organized my notes. I know, I know…organizing is not the same as writing. That’s true, but it was both useful and the best I could manage in this transition period. It was also very much needed. I have a tendency to send myself emails with thoughts and links to items I want to put in my WIP. Unfortunately, that means my inbox had over 500 unopened messages from myself (plus some that were opened but not organized, all in addition to the emails I receive from friends, family, and others). I couldn’t find anything, which occasionally led to sending the same note to myself more than once. So with Ottmar and Tim Weisberg and Kitaro keeping me company I set up subfolders and – after the panic of accidentally deleting and anxiously recovering 400 must-keep emails – managed to organize them into the 13 chapter topics of the book. Mission accomplished. More or less.
I still didn’t write a word yesterday, but I feel like I was productive in my non-writing, even if there is more than a hint of rationalization in that feeling.
So today, the struggle continues. As someone dear to me often says:
Write! Write! Write!
David J. Kent is the author of Lincoln: The Man Who Saved America, in Barnes and Noble stores late summer 2017. His previous books include Tesla: The Wizard of Electricity (2013) and Edison: The Inventor of the Modern World (2016) and two e-books: Nikola Tesla: Renewable Energy Ahead of Its Time and Abraham Lincoln and Nikola Tesla: Connected by Fate.
Check out my Goodreads author page. While you’re at it, “Like”my Facebook author page for more updates!
Hot White Snow 
My total was zero yesterday too. Comforting not to!be alone. And today is another day.
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Unfortunately, yesterday was not a rarity lately. Today will be better. Must. be. better. 🙂
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Hmmm. Is that today? I’m still at zero, but at least I’ve made it back onto facebook. Sounds crazy, time-wasting, or something. But it’s people and words and ideas and communication… of a sort. Maybe I should count comment words too.
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Facebook is probably the biggest reason the productive words haven’t been written. I’m trying a semi-moratorium. So far success has been largely non-existent.
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I hear the time concern. I wish I could win the time lottery, not to add years to my life, but squeezing maybe 3-4 extra hours into every day. There just is never enough time.
I don’t write every day. I know there are people who say you need to, but that’s not how I work. If it’s how you work, I personally think organizing your notes etc. is a perfectly legitimate endeavor to that, especially since you write nonfiction. But I write when I’m ready or think I’m ready, not really before.
On the other hand, I am weird.
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Nothing wrong with weird. 🙂
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You did well! Music does wonders. Taking deep breaths and stretching (or lifting weights or juggling) also helps. 🙂
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Juggling. Now that is something I do all the time, but not in the kind of juggling. 🙂
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Ironic… I was talking to a friend, a local jewelry-maker, yesterday. She was expressing something similar, telling me how the final straw was that a machine she was using overheated and shut itself down. “Think about it,” I told her.
I understand the fits-and-starts approach to productivity. Routine can suck the joy out of a passion. Quantity of expression replaces quality.
Sometimes, “zero” is okay. Sometimes, it’s absolutely necessary.
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Yesterday it was necessary. Today not so much.
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I’ve been trying a new trick I came up with recently. Whenever I feel like I’ve hit writer’s block, I change the words and say to myself I’ve found a writer’s break instead. To me it sounds better, and like you gets me moving on to something productive in other areas of my life instead.
Writer’s breaks. We all need them sometimes. Marianne
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Writer’s break does sound much better. Whatever works!
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Reads like a metaphor for my overall day today!!!
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An all-to-real not-so-metaphor for a lot of days for me lately. Rough few months.
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Oh dear, it sounds like yesterday was a proper struggle for you. I think we all have those sorts of days. Let’s hope tomorrow’s prompt isn’t so much of a struggle…..
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A more positive prompt would be nice. 🙂
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Thank you for sharing your struggles. Inspiration to others.
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Your welcome!
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Every thought a writer has that wanders through the mind is a word of ‘work’ because it helps to sense, to see, to vision it into the story (whether fact or fiction). A writer never stops being a writer, even if the words are only in the head.
How does that affect your count?
I allow at least two days a week to ‘not’ write a single word [doesn’t work – you’ll see why] because I sometimes need to think something through, not rush it into being; it’s too important to give it the most impact, the most power, for what it is. And doing that, walking around with the ‘bits’ in the head, talking it out while I’m weeding or cleaning or walking the dog, is what helps solidify how to move it to where it needs to be.
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Not a bad technique. I also sometimes “write” my next piece, or at least the beginning of it, in my head while I’m doing other things. Do what works, whatever that is, is the key.
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